A true story on WHAT GRUDGES CAN DO

A story worth reading and taken as example in life.... don't lose the

moments in life just becoz of a quarrel...

This is long but worth reading and is a true story ... you may have received it...but it is worth to be reminded of it again.

WHAT GRUDGES CAN DO....

====================

Just two years after our marriage, hubby brought up the

idea of asking Mother to move from the rural hometown and

spend her remaining years with us. Hubby's father passed

away while he was still very young.

Mother endured much hardship

and struggled all on her own to provide for him, see him

through to a university degree. You could say that she

suffered a great deal and did everything you could expect of

a woman to bring hubby to where he is today.

I immediately agreed and

started packing the spare room, which has a balcony facing

the South to let her enjoy the sunshine and plant greenery.

Hubby stood in the bright room, and suddenly just picked me

up and started spinning round and round. As I begged him to

put me down, he said: "Lets go fetch mother."

Hubby is tall and big sized and I love to test on his chest

and enjoy the feeling that he could pick me up at any moment

put the tiny me into his pockets.

Whenever we have an argument

and both refuses to back down, he would pick me up and spin

me over his head continuously until I surrender and beg for

mercy. I became addicted to this kind of panic-joy feeling.

Mother brought along her countryside habits and lifestyle

with her.

For example; I am so used to

buying flowers to decorate the living room, she could not

stand it and would comment: "I do not know how you

young people spend your money, why do you buy flowers for?

You also can't eat flowers!" I smiled and said:

"Mum, with flowers in the house, our mood will also

become better." Mother continues to grumble away, and

hubby smiled: "Mum, this is a city-people's habit;

slowly you will get use to it."

Mother stopped saying anything. But every time thereafter,

whenever came home with flowers, she would ask me how much

it costs. I told her and she would shake her head and

express displeasure.

Sometimes, when I come home

with lots of shopping bags, she would ask each and every

item how much they cost, I would tell her honestly and she

would get even more upset about it. Hubby playfully pinched

my nose and said: "You little fool, just don't tell

her the full price of everything would solve it."

There begins the friction to our otherwise happy lifestyle.

Mother hates it most when hubby wakes up early to prepare

the breakfast. In your view, how could the man of the house

cook for the wife? At the breakfast table, mother facial

expression is always like the dark clouds before a

thunderstorm and I would pretend not to notice. She would

use her chopsticks and make a lot of noise with it as her

silent protest.

As I am a dance teacher in the Children's Palace and am

exhausted from along day of dancing around, I do not wish to

give up the luxury of that additional few minutes in the

comfort of my bed and hence I turned a deaf ear to all the

protest mother makes.

From time to time, mother

would help out with some housework, but soon her help

created additional work for me. For example: she would keep

all kinds of plastic bags accumulating them so that she sell

them later on, and resulted in our house being filled with

all the trash bags; she would scrimp on dish washing

detergent when helping to wash the dishes and so as not to

hurt her feelings, I would quietly wash them again.

One day, late at night, mother saw me quietly washing the

dishes, and "Bam" she slams her bedroom door and

cried very loudly in her room. Hubby was placed in a

difficult position, and after that, he did not speak to me

for that entire night.

I pretended to be a spoilt

child, tried acting cute, but he totally ignored me.... I

got mad and asked him:

"What did I do wrong?" Hubby stared at me and

said: "Can't you just give in to her once? We

couldn't possibly die eating from a bowl however unclean

it is, right?" After that incident, for a long period

of time, mother did not speak to me and you can feel that

there is a very awkward feeling hanging in the house. During

that period of cold war, hubby was caught in dilemma as to

who to please.

In order to stop her son from having to prepare breakfast,

mother took on the "all important" task of

preparing breakfast without any prompting. At the breakfast

table, mother would look at hubby happily eating his

breakfast and cast that reprimanding stare at me for having

failed to perform my duty as a wife. To avoid the

embarrassing breakfast situation, I resorted to buying my

own breakfast on my way to work.

That night, while in bed,

hubby was a little upset and asked me: "LD, is it

because you think that mum's cooking is not clean

that's why you chose not to eat at home?" He then

turned his back on me and left me alone in tears as feeling

of unfairness overwhelmed me. After some time, hubby sighed:

"LD, just for me, can you have breakfast at home?"

I am left with no choice but to return to the breakfast

table.

The next morning, I was having porridge prepared by mother

and I felt a sudden churn in my stomach and everything

inside seem to be rushing up my throat. I tried to suppress

the urge to throw up but I could not. I threw down the bowl,

rushed into the washroom, and vomited everything out.

Just as I was catching my

breath, I saw mother crying and grumbling very loudly in her

dialect, hubby was standing at the washroom doorway staring

at me with fire burning in his eyes.. I opened my mouth but

no words came out of it, I really did not mean it.

We had our very first big

fight that day; mother took a look at us, then stood up and

slowly made her way out of the house. Hubby gave me a final

stare in the eye and followed mother down the stairs. For

three days, hubby did not return home, not even a phone

call.

I was so furious, since

mother arrived; I had been trying my best and putting up

with her, what else do you want me to do? For no reason, I

keep having the feeling to throw up and I simply have not

appetite for food, coupled with all the events happening at

home, I was at then low point in my life.

Finally, a colleague said:

"LD, you look terrible; you should go and see a

doctor." The doctor confirmed that I am pregnant.

Now it became clear to me

why I threw up that fateful morning, a sense of sadness

floated through that otherwise happy news. Why didn't

hubby, and mother who had been through this before, thought

of the possibility of this being the reason that day?

At the hospital entrance, I

saw my hubby standing there. It had only been three days,

but he looked haggard. I had wanted to turn and leave, but

one look at him and my heart soften, I couldn't resist

and called out to him. He followed my voice and finally

found me but he pretended that he doesn't know me; he

has that disgusted look in his eyes that cut right through

my heart. I told myself not to look at him anymore, and hail

a cab.

At that moment, I have such

a strong urge inside me to shout to my hubby: "Darling,

I am having your baby!" and have him lift me up and

spin me around in circles of joy. What I wanted didn't

happen and as I sat in the cab, my tears started rolling

down. Why? Why our love couldn't even withstand the test

of one fight?

Back home, I lay on the bed

thinking about my hubby, and the disgusted look in his eyes.

I cried and wet the corner of the blanket. That night, sound

of the drawers opening woke me up. I switched on the lights

and I saw hubby with tears rolling down his face. He was

removing the money. I stared at him in silence; he ignored

me, took the bank deposit book and some money and left the

house.

Maybe he really intends to

leave me for good.. What a rational man, so clear-cut in

love and money matters. I gave a few dried laugh and tears

starting streaming down again. The next day, I did not go to

work. I wanted to clear this out and have a good talk with

hubby. I reached his office and his secretary gave me a

weird look and said: "Mr. Tan's mother had a

traffic accident and is now in the hospital."

I stood there in shock. I rushed to the hospital and by the

time I found hubby, mother had already passed away. Hubby

did not look at me, his face was expressionless. I looked at

mother's pale white and thin face and I couldn't

control the tears in my eyes. My god, how could this happen?

Throughout the funeral,

hubby did not say a single word to me, with only the

occasional disgusted stare at me. I only managed to find out

brief facts about the accident from other people. That day,

after mother left the house, she walked in dazed toward the

bus stop, apparently intending to go back to her old house

back in the countryside.

As hubby ran after her, she

tried to walk faster and as she tried to cross the street, a

public bus came and hit her... I finally understood how much

hubby must hate me, if I had not thrown up that morning, if

we had not quarreled, if....In his heart, I am indirectly

the killer of his mother..

Hubby moved into mother's room and came home every

night with a strong liquor smell on him. And me, I am buried

under the guilt and self-pity and could hardly breathe. I

wanted to explain to him, tell him that we are going to have

our baby soon, but each time, I saw the dead look in his

eyes, all the words I have at the brink of my mouth just

fell back in.

I had rather he hit me real

hard or give me a big and thorough scolding though none of

these events happening had been my fault at all. Many days

of suffocating silence went by and as the days went by,

hubby came home later and later. The deadlock between us

continues, we were living together like strangers who

don't know each other. I am like the dead knot in his

heart.

One day, I passed by a

western restaurant, looking into the glass window, I saw

hubby and a girl sitting facing each other and he very

lightly brushed her hair for her, I understood what it

meant. After recovering from that moment of shock, I entered

the restaurant, stood in front of my hubby and stared hard

at him, not a tear in my eyes. I have nothing to say to him,

and there is no need to say anything. The girl looked at me,

looks at hubby, stands up and wanted to go, hubby stretched

out his hand and stopped her. He stared back at me,

challenging me. I can only hear my slow heart beat, beating,

one by one as if at the brink of death.

I eventually backed down, if

I had stood that any longer, I will collapse together with

the baby inside me.. That night, he did not come home; he

had chosen to use that as a way to indicate to me:

Following mother's death so did our love for each

other...

He did not come home anymore after that. Sometimes, when I

returned home from work, I can tell that the cupboard had

been touched - he had returned to take some of his stuff. I

no longer wish to call him; the initial desire to explain

everything to him vanished.

I lived alone; I go for my

medical checkups alone, my heart breaks again and again

every time I see a guy carefully helping his wife through

the physical examination. My office colleagues hinted to me

to consider aborting the baby, I told them No, I will not..

I insisted on having to this baby, perhaps it is my way of

repaying mother for causing her death.

One day, I came home and I

saw hubby sitting in the living room. The whole house was

filled with cigarette smoke. On the coffee table, there was

this piece of paper. I know what it is all about without

even looking at it. In the two months plus of living alone,

I have gradually learned to find peace within myself. I

looked at him, removed my hat and said: "You wait a

while, I will sign." He looked at me, mixed feelings in

his eyes, just like mine.

As I hang up my coat, I keep repeating to myself "You

cannot cry, you cannot cry..." my eyes hurt terribly,

but I refused to let tears come out from there.

After I hung up my coat, hubby's eyes stared fixed at

my bulging tummy. I smiled, walked over to the coffee table

and pulled the paper towards me. Without even looking at

what it says, I signed my name on it and pushed the paper to

him. "LD, are you pregnant?" Since mother's

accident, this is the first time he spoke to me. I could not

control my tears any further and they fell like raindrops. I

said: "Yes, but its ok, you can leave now." He did

not go, in the dark, we sat, facing each other.

Hubby slowly moved over me,

his tears wet the blanket. In my heart, everything seems so

far away, so far that even if I sprint, I could never reach

them. I cannot remember how many times he repeated

"sorry" to me. I had originally thought that I

would forgive him, but now I can't. In the western

restaurant, in front of that girl, that cold look in his

eyes, I will never forget, ever.

We have drawn such deep

scars in each other's heart. For me, it's

unintentional; for him, totally intentional. I had been

waiting for this moment of reconciliation, but I realized

now, what had gone past is gone forever and could not

repeated.

Other than the thought of the baby inside me that would

bring some warmth to my heart, I am totally cold towards

him, I no longer eat anything he buys for me, I don't

take any presents from him and I stopped talking to him..

From the moment I signed on

that piece of paper, marriage and love had vanished from my

heart. Sometimes, hubby will try to come into the bedroom,

but when he walks in, I will walk out to the living room.

He had no choice but to

sleep in mother's room. At night, from his room, I can

hear light sounds of groaning, I kept quiet. This used to be

his trick; last time, whenever I ignore him, he would fake

illness and I will surrender and find out what is wrong with

him, he would then grab me and laugh.

He has forgotten that last

time I cared for him and am concerned because there was

love, but now, what is there between us? Hubby's

groaning came on and off continuing but I continuously

ignored him.

Almost everyday, he would buy something for the baby,

infant products, children products and books that kids like

to read. Bags and bags of it stacked inside his room till it

is full. I know he is trying to use this to reach out to me,

but I am no longer moved by his actions. He has no choice

but to lock himself in his room and I can hear his typing

away on his computer keyboard, maybe he is now addicted to

web surfing but none of that matters to me anymore.

It was sometime towards the

end of spring in the following year, one late night, I

screamed because of a sudden stomach pain, hubby came

rushing into the room, its like he did not change and sleep,

and had been waiting for this moment. He carried me and ran

down the stairs, stopped a car, holding my hand very tightly

and kept wiping the sweat off my brow, throughout the

journey to the hospital.

Once we reached the

hospital, he carried me and hurried into the delivery suite.

Lying on the back of his skinny but warmth body, a thought

crossed my mind: In my lifetime, who else would love me as

much as he did?

He held the delivery suite door opened and watch me go in;

his warm eyes caused me to manage a smile at him despite my

contraction pain. Coming out of the delivery room, hubby

looked at our son and me, eyes tear with joy and he kept

smiling. I reached out and touched his hand.

Hubby looked at me, smiling

and then he slowly collapsed onto the floor. I cried out for

him in pain... He smiled, but without opening that tired

eyes of his... I had thought that I would never shed any

tear for him, but the truth is, I have never felt a deeper

pain cutting through my body at that moment.

Doctor said that by the time

hubby discovered he had liver cancer, it was already in

terminal stage and it was a miracle that he managed to last

this long. I asked the doctor when he first discovered he

had cancer. Doctor said about 5 months ago and consoled me

saying: "Prepare for his funeral."

I disregarded the nurse's objection and rushed home, I

went into his room and checked his computer, and a

suffocating pain hits me.

Hubby's cancer was

discovered 5 months ago, his groaning was real, and I had

thought that... the computer showed over 200 thousand

words he wrote for our son: "Son, just for you, I

have persisted, to be able to take a look at you before I

fall, is my biggest wish now... I know that in your life,

you will have many happiness and maybe some setbacks, if

only I can accompany you throughout that journey, how nice

would it be. But daddy now no longer has that chance. Daddy

has written inside here all the possible difficulties and

problems you may encounter during your lifetime, when you

meet with these problems, you can refer to daddy's

suggestion....

Son, after writing these 200 thousand words, I feel as if I

have accompanied you through life journey. To be honest,

daddy is very happy. Do love your mother, she has suffered,

she is the one who loves you most and also the one who loves

me most..."

From play school to primary

school, to secondary, university, to work and even in

dealing with questions of love, everything big and small was

written there.

Hubby has also written a letter for me:

"My dear, to marry you is my biggest happiness,

forgive me for the pain I have caused you, forgive me for

not telling you my illness, because I want to see you be in

a joyful mood waiting for the arrival of our baby...My dear,

if you cried, it means that you have forgiven me and I would

smile, thank you for loving me...These presents, I'm

afraid I cannot give them to our son personally, could you

help me to give some of them to him every year, the dates on

what to give when are all written on the packaging..."

Going back to the hospital, hubby is still in coma. I

brought our son over and place him beside him. I said:

"Open your eyes and smile, I want our son to remember

being in the warmth of your arms..." He struggled to

open his eyes and managed a weak smile. Our son still in his

arms was happily waving his tiny hands in the air. I press

the button on the camera and the sound of the shutter rang

through the air as tears slowly rolled down my face....

A fatal misunderstanding and

the person who loves me the most in this world is gone

forever..."Cruel misunderstandings one after another

disrupted the blissful footsteps to our family. Our

originals intend of having Mother enjoy some quiet and

peaceful moments in her remaining years with us went

terribly wrong as destiny's secret is finally revealed

at a price, every thing became too late.".........

This is a true story...

LEARNING POINT - DO NOT EVER HOLD ON TO OFFENCES!!!

I am totally speechless, this story brought tears to my

eyes as I read through each line eager to know what would

happen next. It truly showed the devastating power of

grudges and anger!

Simple humility and

communication would have resolved most of the problems in

that story, as well as patience....

Communication with your loved ones is THE key.

wohooo...actually today is 41th day already. we graduated from 40 days of love. so, students of love, if you keep yourself in track, you re a master of LOVE. how amazing is it to know the love from Jesus principle throughout 40days, and now is the most important moment. We must apply the principle of love into our daily live. Love doesn't end with 40days but more.

:)

I would first summarize with what we have learned about relationship from Jesus principle in 40days.

Place the highest value on relationships. Refer to [Mark 12:29-31]
Love as Jesus loves you. Refer to [John 13:34]
Communicate from heart. Refer to [Matthew 12:34]
As you judge,you will be judged. Refer to [Matthew 7:1]
The greatest are the servants. Refer to [Matthew 23:11-12][Matthew18:4]
Treat others as you want them to treat you.Refer to [Luke 6:31]

As we know the relationship from Jesus's principle, how we going to apply it in daily life?? As anyone of us really try to ask our heart at this point, have i followed the chapter day by day according to the schedule without skip?? If you have do so, congratz, you have a better start! But don't be too happy, because the journey isn't only for 40days, but lifelong! People who fail to study according schedule, or even now still haven't finished this book, can we stop busying a while and start thinking for ourselves.." Have we done the same thing while walking with Christ??" As the first point has already mentioned, place the highest value on relationships, and especially the most important relationship, that is the relationship with God. Human being is forgetful creature. In order to really keep in pace and not to make the relationship to just a routine life, GUYS, communicate more with Him. Pray and he will talk to us always. Communicate only can makes the relationship grows, no matter with God or with spouse,family or friends. Keep in touch...

In next post, i will share a long but real story about miscommunication. Is a really good story, spend time reading it! you will learn something from that. :)
Take care everyone...

by Andrew





Hey guys...
It's past midnight, so... today is the day of graduating!
Where we are getting our masters in love. =)
Say it like you mean it when you've done day 40.
I am a master of love. =)

After learning 38 days about love, today we learn how we should not be slaves to our mind..
our dreams and ideal thinking.
I guess this past 38 days, we have already learnt about God's love...
We have already learnt about the ideal love.
We can probably picture in our head what the perfect life would be like.

But today, I urge you not to be enslaved by your ideals, for you are just creating an idol to worship.

You know like how when you set targets you can't achieve, you just start to feel dejected since you'll never be able to achieve them anyway?
Like during this revision period, you've set yourself an unrealistic study plan to follow, and when you don't manage to accomplish it, you've suddenly lose your motivation to study?
Similarly, when you set unrealistic targets for things that are going to happen in your life, you start to become slaves to it.

And when we set unrealistic expectations, we become slaves to the ideal situation that we would like to have.
As a result, we fail to see what we already have in our lives..
and when that happens, we fail to see the blessings that God has already blessed us with, and we will not be ready to receive the blessings that He is going to bless us with!

I remember last year, I went to watch a movie called Tropic Thunder...
I read the reviews, it was good.
I read the internet webbie, reviews were good too..
like the really good reviews that seem to be 5 star movies...
I started to have high expectations for it, and expected to be wow-ed by the movie...
but apparently, someone didn't show me the script...
I watched the movie, but came out feeling a little disappointed.
It was a good movie, but not as good as I expected.

When we have high expectations, it takes the joy out of the thing.
I had high expectations for the movie, but came out disappointed, even though it was a good movie.
When we concentrate on the ideal, we miss the real.
We miss the things that God wants us to experience.
The things that we ought to experience in our relationships.
It's easy to criticise, but is it as easy to give thanks for the things that happen in our lives?

Stop criticising and trying to perfecting the things in our lives.
Instead, start to give thanks for the things that happen in our lives, and how we can learn from it.
We are not perfect humans.
Everything will be less than ideal.
But when we acknowledge the things that happen in our lives are part of God's plan, and these are the things that he want for us to experience... the great things...
We will start to give thanks, without even thinking twice.
We will start to give thanks to He who is perfect, and not be kept from the joy of the world.
The false image that we built will not be be a wall which keeps us from experiencing the real things in life.
When we keep it real, we start to see the changes in our life, and the great things that happen.
Don't wait for the ideal to happen!
Give thanks to what's happening, and has already happened, and then do something in your love, and begin to love. =)

From me to you,
Lots of love and care...
Keeping it real no matter what...
You are beautiful, because you are a creation of God, and no one can take the joy of that away from you.

Johnson... =)
Lots of love...





As we have arriving close to the end of 40 days of love, I've decided to share this website.

Gives Me Hope
http://www.givesmehope.com/

Reading the stories on it, just inspires me to love others more, and doing more for them, and that the love that I am showing at the moment, is definitely not enough.
Being prideful human beings, sometimes we do things for others, and say to ourselves...
I think I have already done a great service for them already.
Remembering about Pastor Patrick's sermon about servanthood, and how he mentioned that some volunteers think that they deserve special treatment because they are volunteers.
Because to them, they have already self-sacrificed already.
But... my question to them is, do they think they can sacrifice no more?
Is it their maximun/highest level already?

Everytime, we think that we have already done our utmost, someone comes along and bursts our bubble, and awake us to the fact that more can actually be done.

Reading the stories on the website just inspires me, that so much more can be done.
So much more can be done with regards to bringing people into God's kingdom.
With regards to helping others...
With regards to loving others...
And showing love to other people...
Be it people we know, or even complete strangers.

To tell you the truth, I teared at a few of the stories.
They are simply too touching not to be shared.
The stories have taught me lessons about love, and how it really knows no limits.
How when we think something cannot be outdone, and how we think of ourselves as very loving people already, another story just appears and knocks you off balance, urging you to wake up, and telling you that so much more can be done.

I actually wanted to reserve the sharing of the website till wednesday, when I normally blog, but serious...
Why do I have to wait?
I can always share it again on wednesday.
By sharing it today, you'll never know whose life might be impacted today.
I hope that you have been impacted to, and my prayer for you who is reading is that your life has been touched by the stories shared in the website.

To end it off, I shall share with you one of my favourite story.

I was diagnosed with a severe mental disease about a year ago. My boyfriend has put up with all of my paranoia, anger and odd things that I do. When i told him he should leave me because it wasn't fair to him, he said, "If i can't take you at your worst then i don't deserve you at your best." His unconditional love GMH.

Indeed...
If we can't take our other half at their worst, then we do not deserve them at their best.
For better or for worse, goes the marriage vows.
Hope that your life has been impacted today. =)

Labels: GivesMeHope, GMP

Yow,





Heh yo every students of LOVE!!! it's 33rd day already!! reaching 40days soon~~! are we graduating soon?? NOP, because the only way to apply Jesus's Love is to learning it regularly and act it out practically.

Today we are discussing about how humility handles our relationship with God. From the story that the author shared, we will tend to fall in to the do-it yourself trap always without any realize. So what we need to do is always be humble to God, pray the truth and tell the truth. Sometime really, we feel so blessed and is okie to thank God in the prayer. BUT don't condemn any other people as we are all servant of God and we are the same. :)

STOP the do it yourself religion:
1) You become confident in yourself
2)You become condemning others
3)You become content with externals

The only solution is to TRUST in God. No matter what we have been through, God know everything. "Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and i will give you rest"
( Matthew 11:28) No matter in peak of your life or valley of your life, trust in Him and we will get the peace in heart. I still remember during our passion camp, the theme is all about surrender to Him, to trust Him in our all heart.

Why is it so important?? Because when we rely on ourselves during valley of our life, our heart will grow bitter, we will lose our direction and most probably we will blame God!! Don't ever do that! TRUST the plan of Him, be faithful, be humble, He will show us the way. When we are very blessed, remember to thanks Him with our deep heart. Is Him who give what we have because God so love us.

As final exam coming soon, when we are having hardtime. Remember that God is always with us. Have a nice day!





It's day 32 already!
less than 10 days left...
Combine cell is this coming friday, so please rsvp michael if you're coming. =)

I noticed that the title doesn't really come up on the blog entries...
So, if you're curious what different authors put as their headers, log in and take a look.

Today's topic is about humility handles our tendency to compare.
Being humans, we always strive to be the best.
Since young, we've been brought up to strive for number 1.
To be number 1 in our studies, to be top of the rankings in the game that we play, or the top player in the sport that we play.
How do we know when we're at where we want to be at?
We start to compare.

When sitting at a table, especially at an important dinner, we always tend to want to sit close to the hosts, so that other people can see how important we are.
The closer we sit to the host, the more important it appears that we are.

However, how embarrassing it will be, if the host ask us to give up our seats for someone else, because we are not deem as important as the other person?

So... Do we take the lowest seat, and slowly advance ourselves?
No.
Instead, we are told to take the lowest seat whenever possible.

Somehow, I feel that today's passage speaks to all of us.
When we put ourselves in the lowest position, we tend not to compare.
When we willingly take up the lowest seat, we tend not to compare with other people, we recognise the fact that God has placed us in the position.
And when we recognise the fact that God has placed us in that particular position, we tend not to compare, but instead think about what we can do in that position.
In sch, we think about how we can reach out to our fellow students.
At work, we think about how we can reach out to our colleagues, and customers.

When we recognise that we have been put into that position by God, when we humble ourselves enough to put God first, and not us, we stop comparing!
As we recognise why us, and not someone else, we stop comparing.
And when we stop comparing, that's when we can truly do what we have been called to do.

When we recognise it doesn't really matter if we occupy the lowest seat, or the highest seat, that's when we can truly seek God, and do His will. =)





Oh my goodness, this chapter is so good.


Well what is the first thing that comes to your mind when you read the title today? "How humility handles ambition?"

Well for me, I think our life is driven by ambition. What we do each day is driven by an ambition. May it be a God given one or not. We are still driven by an ambition. So I guess if ambition drives us in life and God is the only way in life then humility must definitely come from God.

I wonder do any of you ever reach a point in life where you just don't know what to do. May it be your assignments, or those difficult decisions on where to study. Well instead of thinking which is the best option to help exalt ourselves, like by coming to UWA. Why don't we just rely on God to provide us with the answer?

Like the passage says we should be more like children which are dependable on their parents as we should be dependable on God. I can honestly tell you when you rely God to lead your live he really is there to pull you out from difficult situations. Unless he wants you to learn something from it.

Just about 24 hours ago 0230, 19 Oct 2009 : I was doing a last minute assignment with Chu Xuan and Aldrin in MCL. This assignment consisted of 6 questions and we divided it out evenly among ourselves, me getting q3 and 4 randomly. Well, by God's grace everything went well. Looking at question 3 I was blank but all those around me were able to guide me with it. Thank God for that. When looking at q4, I was once again clueless. This time asking around didn't help much. I then decided to do the weirdest thing. I copied and pasted question 4(a) into google and clicked enter and by God's blessing alone not only did the exact same question and answers for 4(a) come out but the answers for the entire question 4 was there. (:

Ok... So I hope you people are a little inspired to rely on God more now.

I believe that as we humble ourselves God will definitely exalt us but as we seek to exalt ourselves we will definetly be humbled. Hope you all learn something from my short sharing (:





Hey kids,

Wow, in such a short time, we have hit day 29. Relationship principle 5 takes us back to something we talked about at the start of the semester.

Serving? What does that take? We held in our session on Servanthood that pride has to go and humility has to come. Yesterday at BBT, couple of us were talking about driving to far places.
All the reasons that made us irritated or unhappy or relunctant, it was really very self. It was all about ourselve. Be it petrol money, tiredness etc, it focused on ourselves. Granted they are all legitimate reasons and i have struggled with serving in this area cheerfully (especially in my first year haha) but Big Mike said something that really struck me, that when we serve cheerfully God will take care of our needs. The focus here is not take care of my needs, but God. I mean, humility would be, Let God take care of it, he is the big one. Humility would be, my needs are not that important.
This chapter really enforced alot of things that we already know, but probably haven put into concrete practice yet.
A learned friend spoke to me this week on faith. that its really not about just knowing the principle or the person, but its letting that knowledge govern us, to let that knowledge control our actions.

So what is that knowledge that we need to know? And how is it going to govern our actions?
Well personally, Ive known, and i know, Jesus is my solution to every need out there, be it a struggle with sin, or financial or emotional needs, insurmountable problems, he is my solution. And how do i Let it govern my thoughts, my actions?
I live through Christ. CHrist that lives in me transforms me as i make choices in my will to follow him, to let him in.

Yes granted that is the hard part, where we humble ourselves to say, hey its not about me anymore, its all about Jesus.
But friends, as you read today's reading, mediate on this, what areas of our life are filled with pride (i.e what areas am i not letting Jesus take control), and is it showing through our actions (serving, which as we spoke about before helps us build humility)
We have to humble ourselves, that is when our problems will not be so Big, our needs not so big. Why? Cause the focus is on God.

Let's humble ourselves this week. Lets show it through our actions. Let serve one another and our community :)

In Christ's service,
Jems





Understanding God's judgement....

Let me paint you this picture...
You are footballer playing in one of the grandest match you could ever play in...
(World Cup? probably... =P)
And you are en-route to scoring a goal, and you're in the penalty box already when suddenly one of the opposition comes over and nudges/shoves/(insert your own string of words) you....
What do you do?
What do you do if the shove was quite hard, and you can't keep on your feet?
Do you try to go to the grounds and exaggerate the shove?
Or do you go down, and go with the flow of the fall?
Do you trust in the referee to see what was done to you, and blow the whistle?
Do you trust the referee to make the correct call?

What if the score was 1 - 0, and the penalty was needed to level the scores?
Do you trust in the referee to see what was done to you, and blow the whistle?
Do you trust the referee to make the correct call?

What if, the referee was God?

Today's passage is about understanding God's judgement.
How many times, when we have been wrong, we try it to do it our way?
We try to take revenge on our own?

What really spoke to me today was about God being the one who should pass judgement.
If you have been reading the zone blog, which the address is http://passionatuwa.blogspot.com/, and read what Isaiah shared, he was talking about the sins of King David, and Pastor Mike Guglielmucci, and how to God, both were sinners, and both sins were equally weighted.
Sometimes we view someone's sin is greater, we decide to judge them.
If all sins are equal to God, how can we judge?

Another story in the bible, taken from the book of John, Chapter 8, Verses 1 to 11, talks about how a woman who has committed adultery and was brought before Jesus.
In verse 7, it is written that Jesus raised Himself up, and said to the people...

"He who is without sin among you, let him throw a stone at her first."

He who is without sin.
We all know that we are sinners...
That we do not lead a perfect life, and have surely committed sin a few times (at least) in our lives.

What right then, do we have as sinner, to judge others?
The only one who is worthy to judge others is God, and we should leave judgement to God, and trust in Him, that His judgement is just and fair.

The more I trust God as the only fair judge, the less judgemental I'll be.
When we trust that God is the only fair judge, the only one who is worthy and fit to judge others, we become less judgemental.
When we trust in Him to judge, we are able to forgive others for the hurt and wrong that they have caused and committed against us in our lives.
When we forgive, we understand the true extent of God's judgement, and, of course, His love.
=)

I urge you to read Corrie ten Boom's story again, which begins on Page 231 of the book.
It's stories like this that truly help us see, the true extent of God's love and mercy.
All because Corrie learnt to trust in God's judgement.

I'm sure most of us have done things without the intention to hurt, but somehow, the results don't come out right.
Sometimes, people don't know, and judge us for it?
How do we feel?

Similarly, when we judge others, have we thought about how they might be feeling inside?


Trust God to judge, and not us.
Always remember...

John 8: 7b
He who is without sin among you, let him throw a stone at her first.

See you guys at cell later, and God bless! =)

Learning more about God's love each day,

Johnson





Harlo guys, can you all feel the LOVE today? (edited based on "can u feel the love tonight" by Elton John) -_______-" everyday one Cold Jokes, we can save the world by avoid earth from global warming. What' re you all waiting for? JOIN me, Join The Group!!

sorry, what written above is just commercial advertisement. Okie, let's go to the main content! By today, we will understand God's mercy has been poured everywhere in our life. :) First, the author use the story from (Luke 7:36-50) we can know that in our daily life, we can be either one of them, GRATEFUL you' ve lived a more moral life than most other people; GRATEFUL for how much you have been forgiven.

The author also used a example of himself being showed grace and mercy by his neighbours when he was young. The impact of the example make a young heart feel so warm even after so many years. Grace and mercy which showed by God have touched our everyday life, let us live without guiltness, He set us free by sending one and only son to the earth, to wash our sin...! So, have you ever imagined, if we can try to show mercy and grace to the people who hasnt got the chance to have salvation of God. We are showing them that this is our God!! A God who is LOVE, who is Graceful and Merciful. (dunno got spell or not...hope u guys not mind) :P You' ll never know whether you re touching young's life that may give a impact of God's LOVE in next generations. Spreading the LOVE by showing grace and mercy like God.

Brothers and sisters, let's challenge yourself today... Today if you need to show mercy or grace to your irratated groupmates,housemates or even strangers... think of God's grace and mercy. You know what you should do...

:) It's easy to say, but is hard to act. But in the early chapters of 40days of love, we know what we should do. Just Do It.. All the best and look forwards to our last cell tmr.. T_______T





Hi guys!
I can't believe it's last cell this coming friday again...
This sem really flew by...
Hope you guys had fun. =)

Today's devotion is on the topic of Mercy.
Mercy is removing the speck out of someone's else's eye.
Mercy is not pretending that there is no speck in that person's eye.
Mercy is the alternative to judgement, not ignorance.
It is not ignoring the fault of others.
It is forgiveness.

How many of us have heard the story of the servant, whose debt was cancelled, but yet could not forgive his fellow servant when the debt which was owned to him could not be repaid?
How many times, when we were shown mercy by others for our mistakes, stupidity, for things that may have been out of our control, but were our fault?
How many times, when we were shown mercy, yet we did not show it to the next person?

In the story, the master turned that particular servant to jailers in anger.
The master must have felt his mercy got rejected, when his servant chose not to show mercy to his fellow servant, after he was just shown mercy.

Many times, we don't show mercy to others, even though we were just shown mercy.
However, we should always remember...
God first showed us mercy, before we can show it to others.
He forgave our sins, and even sent His son to died for our sins.

How can we claim to be followers of Christ, when we don't do as He did?
When we choose not to show mercy to our fellow brothers?
No one is outside the circle of mercy.

Ok...
All of us know that we have to show mercy... but when?
As the title suggests,
Say Now to Mercy.
We have to show mercy NOW!

God knows how when we do not show mercy, and keep that bitterness in our heart, we are vulnerable to Satan's attack.
Satan uses that bitterness, that refusal to forgive someone to keep us from the transforming forgiveness of God.
Forgiving someone doesn't mean that we have to trust that person now.
Trust takes time to rebuild, but mercy can be shown now.

In Matthew 5, right in the middle of all the Beatitudes, is verse 7.
Blessed are the merciful, For they shall obtain mercy.

When we show mercy to others, we will also receive mercy.
When we choose to forgive, we will also be forgiven.

Even in the Lord's prayer, we pray,
"Forgive us our sins, just as we have forgiven those who have sinned against us."
Since God has forgiven our sins already, we have to forgive others who have done wrong against us.

A point to note that sometimes when we show mercy, we are afraid that our mercy will be rejected.
If now, you go... huh?... It's normal....
When the first time I read that the mercy will be rejected, I also went huh?
You mean mercy can also be rejected one? how?

Mercy is rejected when the person you chose to forgive doesn't show mercy in his life.
Mercy is rejected when the person you chose to forgive heards the words of forgiveness, but never allowed those words to reach his heart.
Mercy is rejected when the person you chose to forgive choose to ignore what you have done.

What do we do?
Well... Continue to show mercy!
When God sees this, He will bless you.
and always remember that...
Blessed are the merciful, For they shall obtain mercy.

How do we show mercy?
The book says to be kind, humble, gentle, patient, get along with the people, and to forgive.
Another way, which I find it quite useful to remember, is to remember the characteristic of the people who have shown us mercy.
Remember how our parents always forgave us, even though we have done wrong?
That's the kind of mercy that we should aim towards.
Because, who are we to be selective in our mercy, in our forgiveness, when we ourselves were forgiven when we were all sinners?

To sum it all off, show mercy now!!!
Dear friends...
Deep in our hearts, I'm sure that there is someone whom we find hard to forgive.
Obviously, God doesn't expect us to be an idiot, and just simply forgive and forget, and allow that person to commit against you again.
What is of an higher value, would be that we forgive, and remember.
Yes. Forgive and remember.
If we can only forgive, then the world would be a better place. =)

To end, I shall leave you with this verse which I got off a podcast.
It's from Micah 6: 8, and really suits today's theme.

⁸ He has showed you, O man, what is good.
And what does the LORD require of you?
To act justly and to love mercy
and to walk humbly with your God.


Hey peeps!





Hi Guys,

I'm sorry about my terrible english last week and today.

I believe todays passage is quite straight forward. Many of us have definitely heard about similar lessons in the past. Even since young we were taught no to be hypocites, remember the line about a father crab asking his son to walk straight.

Even though we have learnt this so often I believe that till today many of us are still hypocrites from time to time. I've definitely have done such things myself which I'm not proud off.

I guess for those who face the similar problem as I, we should start by seeking forgiveness from those we have been hypocrites to and seek forgiveness from God. As the passage teaches us we should always focus on our hearts before acting and remember that our focus shouldn't be to impress those around us but to impress God.

Hope you all have an enjoyable week. 2 more weeks of uni to go ! (:





Hey friends,





oh hello,


Hello all,

Labels: 40 days of love

hmmm...
Don't we often ask this question?
How can we be truly heard?

In today's devotion, we can truly see that there are indeed ways to communicate other than just saying, and speaking what you mean.
These are namely,

1. Giving a gentle touch
2. Asking the right question
3. Painting pictures with words.

1. Giving a gentle touch...
We always fail to give an appropriate value to the term touch.
When we were young, our parents gave us a hug and cuddle us as babies, as they look at their previous one, one to call upon as their own.
We would always receive a pat on our head when our elders want to show their affirmations and love.
When we get into a relationship, we give our other halves comforting touches to let them know we are near, and not to be afraid.
With our friends, we do the same too, just to comfort them, and to tell them that it's ok... everything's going to be alright.
When we have kids of our own, we touch them, to show our love.
When we are old, our grand kids touch us and play with our wrinkled skin to show their love.

Truly, touch can be quite... a touchy issue.

It is not surprising to see that it is part of the 5 languages of love by Gary Chapman.
In today's entry, we can see that God sends people to touch us as well...
Sometimes, that comforting touch is all that we need to know that God remembers us.
Once touch, we can release all our emotions.
Do you know the song "Sometimes when we touch" by Dan Hill?
The lyrics really tells us a lot about touch.

And sometimes when we touch
The honesty's too much
And I have to close my eyes and hide
I wanna hold you til I die
Til we both break down and cry
I wanna hold you till the fear in me subsides

I'm not suggesting you go and touch everyone you meet. It can really make some situations quite uncomfortable.
BUT!
When you see your friend who is looking dejected, why don't you go over and give them a pat on their back?
When you see your friend who is looking a little down, why don't you go over and give them a hug?
When you see your friend, no matter what they're doing, why don't you go over and give them a hug and tell them how much you appreciate then? =)

2. Asking the right questions
Sometimes when we ask the right questions, avenues just open up.
I believe through our questions, we actually give the other person a rough impression of our intention.

When I was a door-to-door salesperson last year, we always had to come up with like ice-breakers, or key questions to ask them so that they would actually be more willing to listen to you.
One of the best question that we often us was
"How do you want me to help you?"
It actually makes the other person listen, such that if we have a product made for them, they will actually listen to it, and benefit from it.

The same comes to when we're talking to people.
You know when you're talking to the other person, and how they like to give 1 word answers, which makes you feel frustrated?
It's time to challenge yourself to think of new questions!
Questions that challenges them to think, and probably encourages them to talk more, and share.

When you ask challenging questions, it challenges them to think!
Learn from Jesus!
He often answers questions with questions, and it forces the original person who asked the question to think about what he/she had just asked.

3. Painting a picture with words
Remember the game charades?
The one which we have to act out what we want people to guess?
Don't you agree that it can be kind of challenging, but when they describe to you, you can almost get it instantly?

Indeed, a picture is worth a thousand words, and when you paint a picture with your words, it also helps the other party to relate better. =)

Jesus did an excellent job when he spoke parables.
The sower, the lost sheep, the lost coin, and the prodigal son.
What better way to relate to the people of those times, a time of farmers and shepherds?
People who relate well to coins and sons.

That being said, we must always paint a picture which relates, and is relevant.

Last night at food feast, I was also trying to paint a picture with my words.
I was telling my friends about the food chee kweh, but none of my malaysian friends really knew.
As a result, I tried my best to describe it to my malaysian friends.
It was really hard, and none of them got what I was describing.
I found out why in the end.
I went to buy chee kweh and showed them, but still, they had no idea what it was.
Apparently, there is no such thing as chee kweh in malaysia...
I was like... O_O!!!

As you can see, if you paint a picture for the person, but if the person has no inkling of what the picture will be like, there is really no point.
For my friends who never seen chee kweh, or anything similar, they were never in position to get what I was trying to describe.

Paint the right picture!
Don't go and talk to a basketballer about Manchester United, or to a rocket scientist about Shakespeare.
You'll only be tiring yourself out.

When you paint the right picture, you have basically used x words to reach a 10x effect. =)

I believe that once we've put the above steps into practice, we'll be able to communicate more effectively and efficiently.

so...
What are you waiting for?
Practice to give a gentle touch, to ask the right questions, and to paint the picture with the next person you see, and improve communications with him or her. =)

Picture this...
A sunny day with a slight breeze...
On the balcony, reading a book and enjoying the nice weather...
With a cool drink in my hand...
Afterwards, watching the sunset and loving every moment of it...

That's a little piece of my heaven... =)
That's where I want to be. =)



Sorry for the late post!! Yesterday topic is about conversation of you with God in daily life!
Congratz, you are almost at the half of journey,is 19days now!Answer of the prayer from God is one the most wonderful thing that ensured by Jesus when we accepted Christ. And Jesus didn't leave us at the middle of no way. He actually teaching us how to pray in the bible. From 40days of love, author focus on how Jesus treated prayer as a relationship with God.

In Jesus' example and teaching, three words mark the tone of our conversation with God: persistence, confidence, and reverence.

Persistence
From the passage, we understand how much we can actually count on a loving and willing God to answer our requests when we persist in prayer. From (Luke 18:1), we also understand that God do listen to us, persistence in prayer is born of knowing that the answer is only we God. Just like what pastor had told us before, God will tell us the answer in SMoT (Strategic Moment of Time).

Confidence
Matthew 7:7~11 showed how our Father in heaven ensured the people who ask him and seek him. What Jesus taught is just "Ask" and be confidence! We are limited by time constraint but not to God. He will give us the answer in the most suitable time. Sometime we might not understand but this is God's plan. Jeremiah 29:11 also clearly telling us that God will plan for our future. :) Pray to God with our confidence!

Reverance
The last but not least, pray with God with reverently calling him as " our father"! Reverance in prayer isn't about methods and forms, it's a relationship! And the author has clearly stated for Jesus, conversation with his Father was a part of the fabric of his life, his prayer was just simply a conversation with his Father in heaven.

For day 19, you are challenged to pray as how Jesus pray. Pray to God so that He can teach us how to pray with persistence, confidence and reverence! Students of love, communication in a realtionship is so important! So does communication with God! ^^





Hey guys!
Hmmm... A few things flowed through my mind after finish reading today's devotion...

1. Always speak the truth!
Yup... We always say that, but at the same time, we are also encouraged not to be brutally honest, for the truth may "hurt, but it doesn't have to maim, kill, or destory." (Holladay, 2008)
So... what should we do?
What we're reading about today, is really related to the past few days.
Let your yes be a yes, and your no, no.
Yes, you would have to be truthful, and make sure that your truth is wrapped with love.
Speak your truth with love.(Eph 4:15)

Which really sidetracks me to another point...
Often, people like to question...
If God is so full of love, why does He send people to hell?
Why do we talk about the just of God when we are spreading the Good News? Wouldn't it turn people who have first came into touch with Christianity off?

well... wait for it...
The truth is...
Yes... The truth is...
The truth is our God is a God of Love, a God that is just, and loves us too much to see that that the unjust get what they do not deserve.

2. Be honest...
Be honest to the people you love, be honest to yourself... most of all, be honest to God!
Ps Holladay used the example of his temptations and how he was not honest with his wife about it.
I found that it was a good example.
Reminds me of the movie "Fireproof".
In the movie, the male lead also had a similar kind of problem.
As a result, it gave his wife a sense of insecurity.
Similarly, it gave the spouse some thoughts... thoughts about if there's a reason not to trust him.
Most importantly, I remembered she said this, with tears in her eyes...
"When did I stop being good enough for him?"

When we refuse to deal with a problem, and be in self denial, we alienate the people who are around us, people who care about us.
It gives them second thoughts about us, and sometimes, wonder... why can't we just face the problem!?!?

Let's continue using this example.
When we get married, we love our spouse, right?
We'll stick together through thick and thin, for better or worse...
We want to make the other person feel like they're the best person on earth, for us.
yes?

Would we want stick with someone who is not honest?
Would we want to stick with someone who we cannot trust?
Would we want to be with someone who doesn't make us feel worthy, or good enough to be with him/her?

NO!

We all have to make the decision to be honest in our relationships.
Speak the truth in love.
When we choose to be nice, instead of being honest, yes... we might be accepted, but how long would that last?

Being honest is a risky business!
Yes, we will be rejected if we're honest...
Jesus was honest, yet He was rejected as well.
However, we put ourselves in position to be accepted as well.
By being honest, we are allowing ourselves to be in a position for remarkable change.
In the long run, we will prosper! =)

3. Start today!
hmmm... You might be thinking to yourself...
But I've lied before...
Well...
Thankfully, our God is a forgiving God.
Repent, and He will forgive you.
Start to make a change today.
Repent, and start to make that positive change today!
Why wait, when you can start now?
You'll never know what will happen when you make that decision to make the world a better place...

Heal The World
Make It A Better Place
For You And For Me
And The Entire Human Race
There Are People Dying
If You Care Enough
For The Living
Make A Better Place
For You And For Me

oppss... sorry... I broke into a song... =X

so, as if I cannot urge you enough,
Make that decision today!
Wrap your truth in love.
Speak your truth in love.
Act in such a way, truth in love.

Have you chosen to act honestly today?
(Disclaimer: Please note that speaking is not just speech, but also through actions? remember how we always say, let your actions speak for themselves? =P)